MYCONOS: FEELS LIKE GRECIAN VILLAGE/MOUSSAKA NO HELLENIC HEAVENLY DISH!

MYCONOS (1431 Polk Street, San Francisco; 415-775-7949; open every day, call for closing time). My friend Peter, Bon Vivant/Raconteur/Chess Master met on Polk Street at It's A Grind coffee house, and he shared some of favorite comic Henny Youngman lines with me before waltzing down the Polkstrasse!

Have you tried vodka and carrot juice? You get drunk just as fast, but your eyesight gets better.

Did you ever see one of those Italian movies, 'bread, love and pizza' or 'bread, love and mozzarella? What are the lovers over there: bakers?

I went to see a psychiatrist. He said, "tell me everything,". I did and he's now doing my act.

Manic-depressive: a person whose philosophy is: easy glum, easy go.

Generally speaking, women are.

Ideal wife would be a beautiful, sex-starved deaf mute who owns a liquor store.

A doctor asked his woman patient, "do you know what the most effective birth control pill is"? She replied, "NO". He said, "that's it"!

The heroes of the Trojan War seem to have feasted on lamb and roast pork. Actually, the ancient Greeks ate a lot of fish, the sea being on every side: sole, turbot, tuna, octopus. For citizens of Athens, Socrates advised moderation in all things, and a diet of bread, cheese, venetables, olives, and fruit. (Life is Meals, James and Kay Salter).

MYCONOS makes you will feel like you are in a Grecian village. Agatha (chef, co-owner with husband George, for six years) is very welcoming. Backgammon sets, a full bar, and a beautiful garden, in the back, blue-white checkered tablecloths to match the murals/walls. She offered us a glass of Skouras Red Cabernet (5.95) and we fingered the colorful menu. Here were my choices:

Appetizer:

Spanakopita (spinach pie). Spinach and fresh herbs rolled in filo pastry oven baked, topped with feta cheese;Green salad. (8.95)

Moussaka. Layers of baked eggplant, zucchini, potatoes, seasoned with ground beef, topped with bechamel sauce, oven baked and served with Greek salad, roast potatoes, and pita bread. (9.95). Unfortunately, this did not send me to Hellenic heaven.
I said to Peter, "taste this". He thought I said, "tasteless". He must be deaf in one ear, but I thought, "which one"??? Too unsavory for my taste.

I reached for the Louisiana hot sauce. Maureen Dowd's mother used to carry a small bottle of McEllheney hot sauce in her purse. I advise you do the same before coming to MYCONOS. Much too bland for my taste.

Vegetarian Combo: five falafel patties, pita bread, hummus, Greek salad, cottage potatoes, spanakopita, and dolmades. (7.95). Peter's excellent choice: delightful, delicious, and delectable.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY DINERS:

Arni Stifado (Lamb shank). It's thin, marinated, and delicious. Oven roasted in a tomato basil sauce and served with Greek roasted potatoes, Greek salad, and pita bread. (9.95)

We talked to Rob, a friend of Agatha and George, who unfortunately could not attend their wedding in Corinth, and he, along with others said: this is the best dish on the menu.

Try it the next time, along with Agatha's homemade baklava. Wanna bet it's impossible not to eat 3 at a sitting?

I recommended to Agatha that she contact www.zagat.com so that her place could be reviewed by customers, gave her the phone number, chatted with diners, and walked home to get prepared for the new Chris Rock movie, I LOVE MY WIFE. It was just another day in paradise, San Francisco style.