Emo is the master of creating hilarious thoughts from ether (no need for psychotropics). Other comedians steal from him, and he is widely quoted by generations X,Y,Z! His comedy is as light as air; he commingles high intelligence with childlike gamesmanship. Visit him at www.emophilips.com and my congratulations to Kipley, his fiancee of 10 years. I met her in the Green Room after and gave her my BORAT for President pin! She was elated! A wedding date set? No, after all, Emo was married to Judy Tenuta (remember her Judisms?). Is Emo a fan of Groucho? Yes, he believes marriage is a great institution, but who wants to LIVE in an institution?
Here's what I recall from Emo (high falsetto, grey hair au natural) on Saturday night's late show, March 3, 2007:
So many beautiful people in San Francisco. First thing I look for in a woman, well...in this city, an Adam's apple!
I'm not a Republican but I'm saving up to be one.
President Bush said children are America's most precious resource, well, We all pray it never comes to that!
It's not easy raising kids in the new millennium, of course. I've got to keep my nephew away from porn sites--at least until my sister's face changes in 10 years.
Emo asked a couple in front: are you two going to tie the knot or use some other form of protection?
My wife left me. I hate being divorced. I'd much rather be a widower --she takes lessons from the Devil on how to be evil...
My wife used to giggle during sex --no matter what she was reading.
Emo recited a poem to the ex: You look slinky, I said to her at the bottom of the stairs. [maniacal laughter]
I used to get drunk every night until I puked...finally, I admitted I was bulimic.
I want to retire but no completely. I'd like to open a Native-American sex shop and set wet dreamcatchers.
Now I live in Hollywood. No, I'm not a Scientologist. I don't like STUPIDITY even when it's evil.
I'm opening a new line of Greeting Cards: You're another year older --let's hear you blame that on the Jews.
His conversational banter with several in the young crowd (including one old fogey: me) was quick-witted and playful.
Emo: Where do you live...what do you do?
Girl: I'm originally from Texas but live in Alameda. I'm an artist.
Emo: Do you want to paint me nude? Once I posed naked for a magazine but it was VERY demeaning. I'll never go back to that newsstand again!
Did you see the Chinese New Year Parade? I didn't know about it. I was sewing an appointment into my cloth calendar.
Emo invited me to tell a few jokes and handed me the mike! Boy, was I in fun city! Later, the girls in the restroom asked, "Are you Anna with the Borat button? You were really funny!" Not as funny as the king and professional for 25+ years. Compared to Emo, I'm a babe in the woods. I love Emo's persona and contrast him to Steven Wright: both reign as kings of the bizarre one-liners. Steven is a depressive, negative; Emo is an optimist, positive.
Steven Wright: You can't have everything -- where would you put it?
I bought a house on a one-way deadend street. I don't know how I got there!I gave Emo a care package to take back with him to Hollyweird and wished him a Bon Voyage! Good luck and congratulations to a great stand-up for making people laugh for almost 3 decades! Don't miss a chance to see him LIVE at a venue near you!
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