CHRIS ROCK: I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE: NO SEXUAL CHARISMA/CAN'T PASS THE PHYSICAL!

Chris Rock, comic, screenwriter, director has come out with his second directorial effort (co-written with Louis C.K.).(www.chrisrock.com) After a stint with Saturday Night Live, and In Living Color, he broke out with his HBO Special BRING THE PAIN, a searingly brutal and candid analysis of race that earned him 2 Emmy awards. His latest effort is Everybody Hates Chris, an acclaimed sitcom. I saw the film, but here's a taste of my fave bits from Chris Rock

On childhood and adolescence: The Trench Coat Mafia was upset 'cause they didn't have any friends, "We were the OUTCASTS." There were 6 of the mothers(expletive). I didn't have 6 friends in high school! I don't got 6 friends now! And, everybody's like, what were they listening to? Who cares what they were listening to? What was Hitler listening to? What was in his CD case?

On Marriage: Marriage is the roughest thing in the world. Nelson Mandela endured 27 years in a South African prison, but once he got out, it only took 2 years before his marriage busted his ass!

On race: Everytown has 2 malls. The white mall, and the mall white people used to go to. They don't got nothing in the mall but sneakers and baby clothes. Guess that's all they think we're doin' -- runnin' and f..!

I was born a suspect. I can walk down any street in America and women will clutch their purses tighter, hold onto mace, lock their car doors. If I look up into the windows oF the apartments I pass, I can see old ladies on the phone. They've already dialed 9-1- and are just waiting for me to do something wrong.

On travel: The only think I know about Africa is that it is far, far away. About a 35-hour flight. The boat ride's so long, there are still slaves on their way here.

In I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE, Chris Rock does not play the sex fiend - he can't pass the physical. The movie is an attempt to reimagine the New Wave French Film by Eric Rohnmer (1972), which I saw recently. Rock and co-writer Louis C.K. do not "own" the original script; they borrow it, unfortunately. The best thing about the movie, as Richard Brody states in the New Yorker, is the "comic riffing on a serious subject, the social identity of America's black middle class, but it is too diluted by sketch comedy to take hold."

We inhabit suburban angst in this film. Rock plays an investment banker Richard Cooper, who commutes to Manhattan's posh investment banking firm, Pupkin and Langford. He's got the ideal wife Brenda (Gina Torres), who teaches, and the 2 kids. A great life, right? Yes, and no. His marriage, it turns out is "frozen solid". He's become robotic, his wife is tired, and there is zero sex. Enter the temptress, Nikki Tru, femme fatale, and possible home wrecker whose answering machine simply says: God is Love, Love is God. She represents sex, passion, excitement, the single life, in a word: fun. Let the flirtation begin!

Was it Zsa Zsa Gabor (Miss Hungary, 1959) who said husbands are like fires: They go out if unattended? Will Richard Cooper, Mr. Married Man, learn that the key to failure is trying to please both wife AND mistress? Will he run away with the femme fatale, find true love and passion, or will he be responsible, find true love and put "family first"? I won't spoil the ending for you but watch that TIE he wears. Will it liberate him or become a noose?

The bad news is that Chris Rock fails as an actor. In my opinion, Eddie Murphy should have been cast in the role of Cooper but Murphy was busy making his "comeback" in Dreamgirls. In I THINK I LOVE MY LIFE, Kerry Washington steals the show as the alluring femme fatale and we care more about her than Chris Rock. Sad, but true! I look forward to seeing more of her.

The movie has enough giggles to please any Chris Rock fan and if you love his comedy (I do) put this on your MUST-SEE list. Chris Rock ROCKS as irreverent, caustic, satiric comic. However,he should skip the silver screen, or take some acting lessons. Unfortunately, he's got no sexual charisma (unless you think comedy is the ultimate aphrodisiac) and he just does not pass the physical. Chris Rock: stick to your stand-up schtick!