Ristorante Umbria; 198 Second Street (Howard);546-6985. www.ristoranteumbria.com Generous and tasty, traditional straight outta Umbria dishes make it worth the fight to get into this homey SOMA Italian jewel during the crowded lunch hour, especially if you score a curbside table, or if you're attending a performance at Yerba Buena Center. Owner Giulio who's so omnipresent he should be a politician was noticeably absent from the Friday pre-birthday lunch (my 29th) that it was a welcome relief! My dining mate, Peter, brought an unbloggable/politically incorrect joke which he made me promise not to blog but we did share some Rodney Dangerfield humor! I would recommend the following dishes:
Rigatoni Amatriciana: De Cecco rigatoni pasta sauteed with pancetta, white onion, fresh tomato and white wine. (12.00)
Pesce del giorno: Salmon grilled with lemon; green beans, potatoes (18.75/dinner) for lunch). One of the best salmon lunches in the city!
WE MISS RODNEY DANGERFIELD.
He said...
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, "Why?" He said, Because you came home early."
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray AFTER the meal.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with.
I told my buddies that my wife cut our sex back to once a month. They said, "Don't feel so bad, she cut some of us off altogether."
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