ROSAMUNDE SAUSAGE GRILL SIZZLES;JOKES OF THE WEEK

Rosamunde Sausage Grill; 545 Haight Street, San Francisco (437-6851) has a Zagat rating of 25! They do one thing and they do it well at this spectacular lower Haight American sausage haunt, a stainless steel stand-up grill sans sit down space specializing in the best wurst in the city. What you get is fowl, cow, pig, including wild boar, any animal really with grilled onion, peppers, sauerkraut and chili on top -- all for just a few bucks. The friendly Fraulein even lets you take 'em next door to the Toronado pub to wash down with a beer. That's just what Peter and I did but we opted for the pomegranate cider. Peter noted "tip, you bastards" at the cash register of this European style pub with regulars hanging out in the middle of the afternoon, one reading Hunter S. Thompson, another chatting nearby on his cellphone. I would recommend the wild boar sausage but skip the sauerkraut which was flat and tasteless and go with the peppers and grilled onions. Price? a wopping $4.50. Pomegranate cider: 4.00.

JOKES OF THE WEEK:
You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days, viz., Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, etc. Don't you miss their humor? Not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are some examples:

There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally let her out.

Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?". The man says, "I make a good living."

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

What are the 3 words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home."

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

She was at the beauty shop for 2 hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. The the mud fell off.

The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish woman like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact the Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.

Why don't Jewish mother drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

PARK CHOW: A WINNER NEAR GOLDEN GATE PARK; COMEDY DAY IN GGP

Park Chow;1240 Ninth Ave (between Irving and Lincoln);415-665-9912. When you don't feel like cooking or paying big bucks, follow the lead of everyone from picky eight-year-olds to vegetarians and head to this very San Francisco-funky New American outfit in the Inner Sunset with a lively neighborhood feel and spot-on service. The diverse menu pleases all palates even my "no fins no feathers" dining companion, Peter, who ordered the classic spaghetti and meatballs, made with hamburger and fennel sausage. (large: 10; small: 7.50). I chose the fish of the day: Ono, a white fish grilled with mushrooms and arugula topping.(20+ as quoted). Save room for a homemade pumpkin pie with homemade whipped cream and great coffee for dessert. I'd give this place a 10!

Peter's Joke of the Day:

For centuries, Hindi women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with marriage or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store , a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the U.S. If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephones giving technical advice.

COMEDY DAY IN THE PARK: SEPTEMBER 30, 2007 : MY FAVORITE LINES FROM 30 COMEDIANS.
Jake Johanssen: Everything happens for a reason. If you don't know the reason, you better shut up. If you carry a flask, people will come up to you and say: Dude, you have a problem. Your answer? Dude, I've found a solution.

Robert Dushay: On getting married: I love the pitter patter of little feet...love Asian hookers.

Tom Ammiano: Folsom Street Fare this year is green: Beat me, bore me, biodegrade me.
On getting older: Now when I say I pulled an all-nighter, I mean I didn't get up once to pee.

Carrie Snow: I flew in from Los Angeles and I am one SHALLOW BITCH. She got kudos from the crowd by standing on her head during her 5 minute act. I am so limber from Yoga that I can kiss my own ass.

Will Durst: Bill Clinton, when he said he never had sexual relations with that woman, was pointing at Helen Thomas.

Kurt Weitzmann: I hate cops, but I live in a very bad neighborhood so I never see them.

John Hoogasian: New way to smuggle drugs: hide them in the bloodstream.

Joe Klostick: We are like the reality show for the rest of the planet. No one likes us anymore because of Bush.

Doug Ferrari: I'm ready to personally give George Bush a blow job so we can impeach him. We know that Condaleeza Rice is blowing him...because his dick fits between the little space in her teeth.