ROSAMUNDE SAUSAGE GRILL SIZZLES;JOKES OF THE WEEK

Rosamunde Sausage Grill; 545 Haight Street, San Francisco (437-6851) has a Zagat rating of 25! They do one thing and they do it well at this spectacular lower Haight American sausage haunt, a stainless steel stand-up grill sans sit down space specializing in the best wurst in the city. What you get is fowl, cow, pig, including wild boar, any animal really with grilled onion, peppers, sauerkraut and chili on top -- all for just a few bucks. The friendly Fraulein even lets you take 'em next door to the Toronado pub to wash down with a beer. That's just what Peter and I did but we opted for the pomegranate cider. Peter noted "tip, you bastards" at the cash register of this European style pub with regulars hanging out in the middle of the afternoon, one reading Hunter S. Thompson, another chatting nearby on his cellphone. I would recommend the wild boar sausage but skip the sauerkraut which was flat and tasteless and go with the peppers and grilled onions. Price? a wopping $4.50. Pomegranate cider: 4.00.

JOKES OF THE WEEK:
You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days, viz., Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, etc. Don't you miss their humor? Not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are some examples:

There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally let her out.

Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?". The man says, "I make a good living."

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

What are the 3 words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home."

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

She was at the beauty shop for 2 hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. The the mud fell off.

The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish woman like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact the Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.

Why don't Jewish mother drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.