Orpheum Theater, Market Street, May 2, 2007. Robin descends from replica of the Golden Gate Bridge. Attack of the 20-foot comedian. "Jump". You're up on the bridge, and they say JUMP, like a group of people who wait for you outside of rehab: "Have a drink, my friend." So nice for you to have this here, Conan, for those considering suicide -- to get used to it! You can sell it to China, use it for flowers, or take it over to Oakland and possibly use it for repair of the Bay Bridge - it's structurally sound and able to take a temperature of 3,000 Fahrenheit!
Market Street is a little like 42nd Street without Disney. We have 2 or 3 theaters and the rest is Adult Entertainment. Mr. Sticky butts, seats, feet. If you walk down Market Street, hang a left,you'll be in the Mission! Buy the fattest burrito in town! If you keep walking, you'll be in Boys Town (Castro). A bar named Moby Dick, i.e., "take a chance." Is your name Queequeg? Don't be afraid of the leg, I sharpened it for you.
Sam Wo (co-sponsored Conan O'Brien, along with Intel) is Martha Stewart's favorite restaurant. Now that she's out of prison, she's pretty much eating out all the time. Go to the Sunset District where there are Irish bars always singing songs--start out depressed and end up happy. Irish dirge: Your mother she did drown that night/upon the lighted store/I never told you this/ but your aunt she was a whore. Your father made a living putting in the parquet floor/Piss in your hat and get away/we're dancing on the door. (Tralala)
I'm obsessed with the Discovery Channel: Planet Earth. Some of the birds really have to clean up the mating area. Intense. Insect world. Black widow spiders. When they give head, they mean it. Praying mantis bites your head off. Sea turtles are the rough ones. She's about 120 years old. First of all, never get a turtle as a pet, leave them in your Will because they're going to live longer than you. You'll be dying, and the turtle's like, I'm just a child.
Movie: License to Wed. Boot Camp for people thinking of getting married. I play an unconventional reverend who has a 2-week preparation course before you get married in his church. Here's the drill: you're going to have to give up everything: no more sex, that's gone. Then we're gonna put you in a small box, and have people tell you stuff you wouldn't even read in Penthouse! (Laughter). Marriage is a long program...and you find out why some animals eat their young. Learn how to survive, be honest, fight fairly, and all those other things marriage involves. That's how you survive!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
funny im reading this 7 years later...i was there that night...remembering robin. thanks for the post.
Post a Comment