Does Emo Philips still reigns supreme after 25 years as the King of the Bizarre One-Liners? It was a brilliantly sunny day and the beginning of the Chinese New Year (of the Boar). Later that evening firecrackers were popping inside & outside of the Punchline. Nicos Santos, a local gay Philopino comedian, who is a retail clerk at Bloomingdales & moonlights at the Punchline was the host. My advice is the standard for comics just starting out: don't give up your day job. Brian Malow, describes himself as a Jew from Houston/Austin, Texas and is a SF transplant. He and Kinky Friedman, right? Yep! His uncle thinks that should be his schtick: take off the cowboy hat and put on the yarmulke! Shalom, y'all! Two Jews walk into a Bar Mitzvah! Kaboom.
Memorable bits from his "act":
I'm not a Doctor but I play one in broken dreams of my parents.
Black Angus restaurants: If I were manager, I'd make sure one person was responsible for going out at dusk to make sure "G" lights up!
I never married but married people get tax breaks, regular sex partner -- for awhile at least.My question: why is there no break-up registry, gifts like an extra fork when you need it?
Memory lapses caused by marijuana I call potholes!
I used to be an astronomer but got stuck on the day shift, which sucked!
I think it's a seond-rate universe now that Bush is president. Maybe he could make it as "Employee of the Month" but PRESIDENT???
Terrorist alert system just does not work...how scared should you be when it's mauve?
A new system of 3 levels: Underwear scare: start at white, go to yellow, then brown!
Emo Philips combines old with new schtick and is still the king of the bizarre one-liners. He killed Saturday night in front of a full house!
Do you remember the old Emo (falsetto, page boy cut, kinky humor)???
Old Emo as I remembered him at the Punchline many moons ago:
You know a lot of girls go out with me to further their careers...damn anthropologists!
I was dating this woman from Cuba who was trying to teach me Cuban. It's v. close to Spanish, except there are fewer words for luxury items.
My brother says "hello"--so, hooray for speech therapy.
I always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, "A truck!"
My nickname as a kid was Mister Baseball -- because of the stitches in my face.
My sister married a German. I'm at a deli with her husband, and he says: Emo, I
can't get a good bagel back in German. I said, who's fault is that?
When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me -- according to the letter.
A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me a kickboxing.
I was with this girl the other night, and from the way she responded to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious, from the top of her head, to the tag on her toes.(TO BE CONTINUED: NEW EMO)
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