Told to me by friend, Hope, New Haven, Connecticut:
St. Patrick's Day: What kind of Irish girl stays out all night? Patio furniture! Kaboom...
Two guys are sitting at a bar. You look familiar, says one t'other. You do, too!
Where are you from? Dublin. Me, too! Where did you go to school? St. Mary's. Me, too. Which year did you graduate? 1966. Me, too! Customer on the other side of the bar looks baffled, asks bartender: What's going on over there? Bartender: Oh, it's just the O'Malley twins -- they're drunk again!
What do you call a "queer" Irishman. An Irishman who prefers women to booze!
They're remodeling St. Patrick's Cathedral. They're putting in a drive-in confessional. Guess what they're going to call it? TOOT 'N TELL!
North Beach. Rose Pistola (rosepistola.com; 532 Columbus at Green. 415.399.0499). This cavernous space hums with crowds devouring specialties of the Ligurian seacoast, home of the violin/guitar genius Paganini, born in Genova(Genoa). Homemade pastas, wood-fried pizza, fresh fish, and chops. A few thorny types say its lost its luster. I say, after 10 years, it's made a dramatic comeback and is tops in my book, rising above most North Beach factories. It is a pleasant brasserie with bar-jazz lounge (9:00p.m. until wee hours). Remember to skip the small plates and go with the main entrees delivered by convivial, affectionate waitpersons (ours was man of all trades, Cole). Want to wow your out-of-town friends? Escort them here to try the many robust, rustic, regional specialities.
My dining partner, Zontar, and I made our way on foot. Stephanie greeted us, and introduced me to the Executive Chef, Armando Paniagua. Alas! Armando, from Mexico, will be leaving April Fool's Day for the Heartland's Kansas City, where he'll open his own restaurant. He's "gonna see a lot of pretty women there, and he's gonna get him some," he sang gaily!
I asked Armando to prepare for us his favorite dish, and he flashed me a toothy grin!
We sat in the comfortable corner next to a couple from Seattle, Tony, in "construction". I know what I was thinking: Mafia? Actually, he's legit and his neighbor across the lake is Bill Gates. Tony opted for the Veal Ossobucco with Olive Oil Mashed Potatoes and Gremolata (28). He loves to cook so it was not as tasty as his homemade stuff, he gushed.
Armando's favorite dish (also most popular) is Salted Baked Branzino (a medium large fish from the Mediterranean). Zontar and I shared, and the fish was filleted at the table. It comes with Yukon potatoes, Parsley & Lemon Vinaigrette (garlic, rosemary, garlic, marjoram, lemon, white wine and a "secret herb" which remained a mystery to my palette.) This was the highlight of the evening. Cole: "an easy ride". (36)
My recommendations:
Antipasti: Grilled Monterey Calamari with Cucumber, Arugula & Fennel (11).
Chickpea Farinata with Caramelized Onion, Olive and Sage. (10). (This is a Ligurian specialty).
Wild Arugula with Strawberries, Aged Balsamic Vinaigrette and Gorgonzola Dolce. Exceeds expectations. Fresh and flavorful. (10)
Pasta: Fettuccine with Clams, Chili Flake & Broccoli Rabe (17). Entree size pasta (add 8)
Meats & Fowls:
Rocky Jr. Boneless Half Chicken Grilled UNDER A BRICK with Broccoli Rabe. (23). Zontar ate this so fast one one occasion that sparks came out of his knife and fork.
Vegetable sides (6,7) are plentiful: try the sauteed spinach with green garlic and lemon.
PUCCINI'S CAFE (Columbus/Vallejo). Fruit tart and coffee. My favorite place to people watch. We skipped the brouhaha at O'Reilly's ($20.00 cover plus cost of drinks: it was a low turnout this year) and listened to Kate's favorite jokes: Some of my closest, dearest friends are Jewish, the young, blond bombshell told us, so she could tell this one: How do you confuse a Jew? Offer him free pork!
A Blond walking down the street with huge earphones on, needs a haircut, goes to a barber. Barber: You need to take the earphones off. Blond is obstinate, refuses. Barber starts cutting her hair and needs to tell her something but she can't hear, 'cause she's got the darn headphones on. So he lifts them off her ears. She immediately falls dead on the ground. He's like, what the hell! Barber picks up the earphones and listens: Breathe in, breathe out! Breathe in, breathe out!
I hope you had a Happy St. Paddy's Day. I did!
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