PUNCHLINE: WOWIE ZOWIE! HOT COMICS: MONDAY, MARCH 12, 2007

Monday Night Comics: www.punchlinecomedyclub.com (Battery at Clay): The Great Dane and author Paul met me at this cutting edge club for "local" comedy talent night:

Stacy, a DJ from San Jose: San Jose is geeky engineers by day; ghetto at night. Daytime: laptop; Nighttime: lapdance. Daytime: Conference call; Nighttime: Booty call. Where I work, my fave geek wears a memory card around his neck (is that geek bling); we call him notorious MP3. Geeks when they go crazy in the heart of Silicon Valley, erase a bunch of shit from the hard drive! Dinner tonight at Baker St. Bistro where the median age is deceased. Opened my menu and a bingo card fell out.

Greg Edwards, African-American: I'm an actor, a comedian--that means I don't have a job. Best superhero is batman, 'cause he doesn't have any superpowers. Don't know about you but being rich is a superpower. I grew up in Virginia in a broken home. Everybody in the house was broke. Moved to Oakland where they call an ambulance a shuttle bus. A lot of rich people in the Bay. All have Ipods. 300 dollars for a walkman. In 10 years we'll all be deaf and Apple will be selling Ihear. Deafness is the new black! I love shoes, and buy them at different places EXCEPT Athlete's Foot! That's like going to a Chicken diner called Salmonella. McDonald's on Mad Cow Monday. Mexicans buying books from Borders!

Ken Avery, African-American: I was hanging out in Golden Gate Park today with a dude training for a Marathon! 26 miles? If anyone's going to do 26 miles, there better be some shit at the end like Michael Jackson tells all. We learn about the children and that MONKEY!

Dava Straus: MySpace Profile? Sitting on my ass smoking weed! Joined a sorority in college: Alpha Bulimic. We liked to puke a lot. Now in a GU relationship. He uses cellphone, cheap bastard so relationship doesn't start until after 9:00 p.m. Phone sex. I dumped him over email...Now dating Mr. Perfect, never had a cavity in his life. He's now reading Kamasutra for men: one page only, "stick it in."

Reggie Steele, African-American: I have a friend whose single goal is to get wasted. He's like, it's Tuesday, I'm gonna get messed up. No matter how much I drink, he says, I gotta eat my vegetables. That's like saying I can have unprotected sex with women cause I take my multi-vitamins.

ROB CANTRELL: Voted BEST COMEDIAN for the night lives in New York (graduate of Denison College, Ohio): See his profile: www.myspace.com/robcantrell.